magical irony

A old catholic guy walked in to the lunch room and said,

"You know, the Harry Potter was playing on TV last night and I just couldn't finished it.  I thought it was just Silly about the whole magic thing and stuff..."

Confused, his co-worker asked,

"John, but you believe the magic that the guy can walk on the water and turn water into wine?"

not meeting my expectations

An employee got called into his boss' office.

The boss said, "You are not meeting my expectations.  I'm worried that if you are unhappy working here."

Employee answered, "What made you think that?"

The boss replied, "You only work 40 hours a week just like everybody else."

work from home

A disgruntled employee complains to his co-workers.

"You know, I have to drive an hour each way to work.  It's two hours I waste my time on the road.  The company should let me work from home every day or at least three times a week."

One of co-workers looks at him and says,

"You knew it was an hour drive when you applied for this job.  They didn't have to hire you.  well, Did you at least look for new job near your house?"

A disgruntled employees replies imcompetenly,

"No, ...but that's not the point"

Smokers

An honest hard working employee was 15 minutes late to work one day.

Her boss scolded her, "You know, Everybody starts work at 8am.  The company can not afford the tardiness."

Two smokers saw that and talked to each other, "I can understand traffic is bad, but being late is not fair to people here at 8 am."

Throughout the day, two smokers took 10-minute cigarette break, 5 times.